I turned 50 last June and have been very interested in figuring out what I want to do with my life now that my job of raising kids is done and was on that path for a little while before my birthday and then last August our oldest daughter and her family moved in to get on thier feet. They do not ask much of me, so that is not a problem, they have the front part of the house and we use the back family room at night and most days I hang out in our bedroom.
It is a lovely room with a beautiful view of our back yard
this is a view out our bedroom window from my desk, taken this past summer. It is a lovely view all year, changing scenery but I have to admit I to get a bit of cabin fever.
I am used to having a studio for my crafts and jewelry and the computer in the front living room and then moving through the house all through the day depending on what I am doing. Now, I watch tv in here, eat breakfast and lunch in here, draw in here, write in here , you get the picture, I live in our room until the evening . When my hubby gets home, we head out into the family room and watch tv until we each go to bed, he first, me later, and I sneak in there, like now, to use the computer while he sleeps as it is in our room !!!
So, my challenge is to be creative in a tiny space. I have all my stuff around me, beads and paints and art supplies, but I have to make room on the desk and pick up everthing when I am done, which makes it hard to be creative when you have to pack it all up between play time. I had a work bench in our room, but it took up too much space and we had to remove it.
It is a real challenge for me to get in the creative mood lately but I am so bored and reading just is not what I want to do, which never happens, but unfortunately has. I love to read at the kitchen table but with people in there all day it is not the relaxing reading atmostphere I like, so for now, no reading.
I am not really complaining, I am glad the kids are here. I hated it when they were in Calif and it is worth any temporary sacrifice to have them here in Texas with us, but I need to figure out how to create in this small space and in creating find what it is I want to do and be . Writing is a passion, photography is a passion, I love to make jewelry and I love to draw, but I am not doing much of any of it right now . I would say I take more pictures than anything because I can do that sitting right here. I get amazing pictures of the squirrels and birds and cats that roam our yard and do take the camera out from time to time and find interesting things to shoot and of course my family is always fun to take pictures of. I have thousands of the kids and grandkids.
So, that is my current challenge. Finding myself in the small space. I am still searching for that child in me that wants to play that I talked about yesterday in my other blog Time to be me . It has been so long since she was out, I am having trouble luring out into the open. I luckily have a husband that never lost his child like wonder and ability to play and hopefully he can help me pull her out into the world again. LIfe is so wonderful, so much to do and see. I want to be part of it and enjoy my life to the fullest. I need to get out of this room too, but for now, with no car, I am a bit stuck, but that should change soon.
So, I will keep working hard to figure out what I want to do, and be and learn to work around this small space. One day I will have the house back to where it was, but until then I want to make progress on moving forward in my life. I do not want to sit in limbo until one day when the kids get thier own place. I deserve to be happy and fullfilled now and that is what I intend for myself.
So, as they say, one day at a time, I will get there, and I know it will be worth the journey !!